I Am The Summer Movies

This is a piece of writing that I began writing early last summer, but never really finished. I just found it, added to it, finished it, and here it is. Enjoy!

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When you think of summer, you sometimes think of the summer blockbusters that are coming your way, featuring major movie stars. What you don’t consider is that I am one of the major movie stars. You see, I Am The Summer Movies. But you already knew that from the title.

“You Don’t Know Jack”

The summer season started early, with this movie that debuted on HBO on April 24. It stars Oscar winning actors Al Pacino and Susan Sarandon and is directed by Oscar winning director Barry Levinson. And, of course, it stars me. I play the role of a guy in a restaurant. The scene was shot in an actual restaurant in Sheepshead Bay in Brooklyn on September 4. It was the first paid acting job I got after my 2009 tour. This was one of those movies where they match you up with someone. I was put at a table with a woman who I guess they assumed would be my ideal wife/girlfriend/date. If I remember correctly, she was complaining a lot between takes, mostly about money. I met another woman there who told me proudly that during the shoot, one of the principle actors spoke to her. She was standing by the food near the craft service table, and the actor said something like, “Excuse me, I want to get a pretzel.” She was genuinely thrilled that an actor who had actual lines had exerted enough energy and magnanimous glory to speak to her. And it wasn’t even Al Pacino or Susan Sarandon. No name actors were even there that day.

I regretted doing this shoot. My girlfriend at the time was playing a gig at the Jersey shore and I could have gone there instead. That way I would have worked on this movie on another day and probably would have worked with Al Pacino and I could have written about him instead of writing about a woman who was complaining about money.

“Salt”

Angelina Jolie stars in this spy thriller. Or does she? I didn’t see her, but I have seen the scene I was in in the trailer. You know the scene where the church is blowing up? I’m one of the people running out. My friend Jill Brynildsen and I were running out from the back, laughing. I heard a production assistant say, “Yeah, that’s real appropriate. LAUGHING when a bomb is going off!” She didn’t actually say it directly TO us, though. I think at the time we were going to laugh at anything, so even a bomb going off in a church was going to elicit chuckles.

I was annoyed during this shoot because they had filled the church up with people, and I was put way in the back. They put me on the edge and I surrounded by dummies. Yes, big giant life sized dolls were doing the same job I was doing. I was so far away from the camera that I was actually reading a book WHILE THEY WERE SHOOTING. I was originally hired to work on this for three days, and was very pleased that they released me after for one day. It was the most boring shoot ever, and I had to sit on a hard wooden church pew all day. I hope the movie is more exciting.

“Salt” opened nationwide on July 23.

“The Other Guys”

When you work on a movie doing background work, you usually just get hired for one scene. I guess they don’t want the same person popping up all over the place. Oddly, I worked on this movie in two or maybe even three scenes, towards the end of 2009. I think I got to work an extra day because I had a tuxedo.

You may see me in this. You won’t see me in a scene where Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are walking out of a police station and I am standing a mile away in the rain. You could possibly see me in a general street scene or reacting to a stunt scene. Where you MAY see me is in a scene shot at the MET where I walk right by Mark Wahlberg. They pulled me out after that one take and put me further back, though. But then the camera angle changed, they put me closer to him on the other side. So with the right editing, Mark Wahberg may be surrounded by Kurts.

“The Other Guys” opened nationwide on August 6.

“Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps”

Greed is good. That’s what I said when I took some extra food home in a Tupperware container from this shoot. Have you seen this movie or at least the trailer? There is a scene where Michael Douglas is talking to a big crowd of people. I’m one of them, but I can’t find myself. I was put way up to top left frame corner. You couldn’t be further away.

There is a exceptionally hot girl who I see sometimes doing background work. I once loaned her a magazine. I noticed that she was put front and center during that crowd scene, and she didn’t seem too thrilled about it. Michael Douglas was probably staring her down the whole time, getting ready to pounce on her and see if she wanted to borrow a magazine.

Shot at Fordham University in the Bronx on a Saturday, I got to work with extras who were recent graduates and teachers. I liked that because it was a welcome relief from hearing about headshots or the mechanics of joining the actor’s unions. What a bore that is.

“Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps” opened nationwide on September 24.

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